Disagreements at work can be a good thing. Experts say that differences of opinion can lead to new and innovative ways of thinking, and eventually lead to better collaboration among colleagues. Having psychological safety in the team to be able to express an opinion that is different from the consensus can feel extremely liberating.

Not everyone handles professional disagreements equally well. Being aggressive, "toxic", overly sarcastic, or losing one's temper are not necessarily career-enhancing traits. In one survey, sixty percent say their colleagues are ruder now than they were before the pandemic. In the same survey, 35% said that the rude colleague qualified for a formal reprimand for their behavior and 8% said that the colleague would have been fired.

Here are tips on how to express your disagreement while helping everyone continue to work together constructively.

Establish common ground

Experts say it is crucial to keep the focus on the goal and why you are sitting together; the problem that must be solved and what it means for the organization. It creates a sense of being on the same team. If the discussion starts to get intense, reminding everyone of the goal can reset the locked dialogue and, hopefully, end personal attacks.

Avoid being toxic

Make sure that what is defined as "toxic" communication does not occur - personal criticism, contempt, defensiveness and exclusion. Criticism is attacking someone verbally on personality or character. Contempt implies moral superiority. A defensive person acts like a victim and blames others. Shutting oneself out is to withdraw and express dissatisfaction, often via facial expressions and body language.

Listen with an open mind

Sometimes you can be a little too eager to come up with a counter-argument or take a confrontation. In such situations where one is passionate about a topic, it can be tempting to think of responses instead of really listening to the other party and trying to understand their reasoning. It may be wise to take a break and wait with your own arguments pending what others say.

Be aware and focused on the other person's verbal and nonverbal signals and feel free to repeat how what they said was perceived. This confirms understanding. Then delve deeper into their meaning. Ask questions to find out how they came to their position and why it matters to them.

With listening and curious questions, one's own assumptions and preconceptions of the other party are handled. This requires a high degree of self-awareness and can be especially difficult when emotions are strong. But the more one can aim for objectivity, the more effective the communication will be.

Think "Yes, and…" when you disagree

Expressing disagreement, without following the steps above, can lead to everyone talking past each other in a competition to win the discussion. In such situations, no one wins, and almost everyone feels frustrated when they leave the conversation.

You cannot force others to think like yourself. Experts say that you should start by repeating the goal of the conversation and then acknowledge what has been perceived. By highlighting the points where there is agreement, it is easier to come up with the areas where there is disagreement.

If possible, use "and" instead of "but" when disagreement is presented. The word "but" discredits what has been said before and shuts people down. "And" is an inclusive word and makes it more likely that people will listen and understand.

Be aware of the elephant in the room

An incredible amount of time is wasted in meetings because team members avoid conflict and instead latch onto uncontroversial and often poor ideas and discussions. By speaking up in a respectful manner, the team and the discussion can get back on track, thus saving the organization wasted time, money, and effort.

It is up to the leader in the room to notice what is happening and be aware of what is being said and not being said. If something should not be a priority but for some reason has gained momentum, the leader must take responsibility and ensure that the discussion, in an honest and respectful manner, returns to the right focus.

Naming challenging things and making everyone feel comfortable saying what they think is liberating and empowering for the team.